Are you struggling right now? Do you keep doing things you don’t want to do? Does it seem like just when you start to get headed in the right direction again, you fall flat on your face and continue to struggle? If so, welcome to the club! Let me share what I have found that helps me to press on instead of giving up.
I feel like an expert on this topic because no matter how much I have matured in my relationship with Christ, I always find my way back to seasons of struggle. Just when everything is going well, moving in the right direction, and I am happy with my progress, I inevitably find my way back to some type of struggle. It is one of the most frustrating things I deal with in my life. I am most frustrated by the fact it is my own weakness, lack of discipline, and disobedience which leads me here. I have no one else but myself to blame.
The silver lining in all this is because I have experienced these seasons of struggle so many times in my life I have become aware of the things I do which help lead me away from the struggle and back to a better place. I have also realized I need these seasons because they keep me from becoming deceived into thinking I am self-sufficient. They are clear reminders of how much I need to rely on God’s strength as I walk through life.
Here are the things I have found that help me get through my seasons of struggle.
1. Avoid Isolation
This is probably the single, greatest strategy I have found which helps lead me to a better place. Whenever I break the silence and share the truth I am struggling with others, there is something magical that happens. Even though I know this and have seen the results time and again, it still takes me a while to remember to do this when I am struggling. I imagine pride plays an important factor in this since it always easier to share your successes with others than to share your struggles.
Our enemy does a masterful job of making us feel like we are on the only one struggling. The longer you buy into this lie, the easier it is to become isolated. The longer you remain isolated, the longer your struggles will remain. The truth is everyone struggles and the sooner you break the silence and share your struggles with others, the sooner you can start to move towards a better place.
2. Embrace Vulnerability
I have found my most meaningful relationships all share one common denominator, vulnerability. The challenge here is that no one really likes to be vulnerable. So, if you are going to build meaningful relationships, you are probably going to have to be the one who makes yourself vulnerable first. Once you do, however, you’ll be amazed at how quickly others will become vulnerable with you. It is in these meaningful relationships where we can share our struggles and find encouragement to keep going.
3. Participate in an Authentic Small Group
The worst time to establish a relationship with a new doctor is when you are facing a serious ailment in your life. It is much better to have an established relationship with the doctor before becoming sick. The doctor gets to know you and your history and can make more informed decisions about how to treat your illness. In addition, you will already have a doctor you trust which makes it easier for you to know who to turn to.
It’s very similar when you are part of authentic small group that. When you enter a season of struggle, your instinct will be to isolate yourself. These are not the moments we are looking to meet new people or be vulnerable with others. However, if you are already part of an authentic group, this gives you a place to go and keep yourself from being isolated. If you meet regularly, there is a good chance you will want to skip your next meeting, but just showing up is a large part of winning the battle.
The most important attribute of the group is that is must be authentic. This means that all the members are willing to be vulnerable with each other. The members must openly and honestly share life with each other. If everyone is showing up and just going through the motions, find a different group.
4. Get Back to the Basics
Whenever a sports team is struggling, a good coach will always focus on getting back to the fundamentals. There are certain fundamental skills in every sport that a team must focus on and excel in if they are going to be successful. If a person has all the natural ability in the world, but doesn’t learn the fundamentals, they will never become a great player.
I have found it is no different in my walk with Christ. There are certain fundamental skills I have developed over time which have allowed me to experience greater success in my walk with Christ. Most times when I am struggling, I find it is because I haven’t been doing those things.
The fundamental skills I have found most valuable in maturing in my relationship with God are:
- A daily Quiet Time
- Memorizing and meditating on Scripture
- Prayer life
- Worshipping God
- Not conforming to the patterns of the world
- Renewing my mind
Even though I have seen putting these things into practice in my life has helped me mature and grow in my walk with Christ, I find it extremely difficult to continue to do them when I am struggling. I find my times engaged in these activities is not as rich or meaningful as it is during my good seasons. It also feels forced when I am struggling so I buy into the lie that unless I am looking forward to it, I might as well not do it at all. However, just like a sports team that is struggling, you must return the fundamentals if you are going to find success over your struggles.
5. Stop Focusing on Yourself
When I am struggling, the more I keep the focus on myself, the more miserable I become. I’ll either beat myself up for my stupidity or wallow in self-pity because of my struggles. However, when I turn my focus outward towards helping others and making a positive impact in the world, I start to forget about my struggles. This makes a big difference between staying in the pit versus climbing out of the hole.
6. Fight the Right Battle
To be successful in a fight, it is imperative that you are one the same battlefield as your enemy. In our lives, we get so focused on the physical world around us that we completely forget about the spiritual world that surrounds us. The Bible clearly tells us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil. This is important to remember when you are struggling in your life.
I have found that when I stop focusing solely on the physical world and the struggles I am facing and start fighting the spiritual battle that surrounds me I have much greater success. The Bible also tells us the weapons we fight with are not from this world and have divine power to demolish strongholds. Our enemies cannot stand against us in the name of Jesus. If you do everything above, but forget about the spiritual battles you are facing, you are on the wrong battlefield.
7. Surrender it to God
There is a quote by St. Augustine that says “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.” The steps I have outlined above are very much dependent on your effort. The more I have done these things, the quicker I have been able to leave my seasons of struggle. Without God’s grace, however, no amount of effort in the world will help me overcome my struggles. You must always remember it is by God’s grace that you are who you are, and it is by his grace he can allow you to overcome your struggles.
Our natural tendency is to rely our own strength and wisdom when we are struggling to help us find victory. I have found, however, once I stop trying to fight the battle myself and surrender it to God, I find much greater success in winning the battle.
Conclusion
It is in our struggles when God shapes us into who he wants us to become and perfects our faith. Struggles will always be a part of our lives. However, I also believe there are seasons of struggle we face because of our enemy. If we are going to defeat our enemy, we need to prepare for the battle now and develop strategies to help us fight the battle.
The strategies listed above have helped me more quickly find my way out of my seasons of struggle. There is no single strategy I have found that always works, but when I use them in conjunction with each other, I have always been able to find my way to better places. I hope these strategies will also help you with the struggles you face in your life. Remember, no matter how much you mature in your relationship with God, you will always face struggles in your life, but also remember that you are not alone. We all struggle!
“I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.”
Romans 7:21-25 NLT
